I feel judged about money. What can I do about it?
A recent survey suggests more than 60% of Gen Z feel judged about their money habits — this implies there are more people feeling judged than there are to do the judging! And this is an important insight because feeling judged isn’t always the same as being judged.
Most of the judgement you feel is not coming from other people. It is generally coming from a script you’ve absorbed (from family, social media, or a partner), or a sense of comparison with the images of incomes, lifestyles and choices other people are projecting largely on social media. Sometimes it comes from uncertainty about your own finances or the noise from other people projecting their priorities onto you.
Nearly everyone in the UK is privately worried they are behind with money.
The comparison trap is worse now than it has ever been. Social media shows you the holidays, the first flat, the new car, and the privileged lifestyle. It does not show you the credit card balance, the parental top-ups, the overdraft, or the fact that the person in the photo is not actually having a good time.
What actually helps is understanding your numbers. Know your numbers, build a plan, sort out your money priorities and lock in on pursuing them. It often also helps to talk to some people you trust — friends or family — you might discover others are in a similar situation and talking it through puts everything into perspective.
The other thing worth saying is that feeling judged often comes from a place where you feel you lack knowledge. The quickest way out of that feeling is to learn enough of the basics that you can hold your own in any money conversation. You do not need to be an expert. You need to understand the concepts enough to make you feel comfortable with your own decisions — I can help with that.
What you can actually do this week
- Unfollow two accounts on social media that leave you feeling worse about money after you scroll them. Replace them with one that teaches rather than flexes.
- Read one article on this site about a topic you don’t understand. The fastest way to feel less judged is to actually know the thing.
- Get on top of your numbers and create a financial priority list.